Saturday, March 27, 2010

Kiddy update

We've had a rough patch with Braylen. He has a little *friend* at school, a new boy who has been tormenting him for 2 months. Since that little boy arrived 2 months ago, Braylen started having nightmares, and then acting VERY aggressively, which is COMPLETELY out of character for him. He also started misbehaving at school. Screaming so loud and so frequently 2 weeks ago that his teacher had to take the class guinea pig home and give him a vacation until after Easter--because of Braylen! I have needless to say been busy attempting to deal with this. Honestly at first I was super angry. My instant response was I can't deal with this from you. Kyan, I am used to, but you have always been my sweet boy, I can not take this! Shortly after having that thought, I cried the whole way to drop them off at school. I remember exactly where I was when the tears came. I seriously prayed, Lord Kyan is all that I can handle. I can not take this from Braylen too.

Braylen began hitting, kicking, screaming, BITING. You name it. It was like he was possessed--and I did begin to wonder about that fairly seriously. He was THAT bad. It didn't help at all that this all came to a head when Brandon was in Ohio for 5 days! For good measure, add that Barbara was leaving us as a babysitter to take care of her sick brother, and Patty now has a "real" grandchild, so we only see her every couple of weeks at best. My parents were in Union City, so I was going it solo, and it wasn't pretty. I tried everything humanly possible (that wasn't harmful) and got no where.

Thankfully this little boy had his last day yesterday. Other parents had complained. Another little boy was having nightmares and afraid to go to school b/c of this child, so it wasn't just us.

In addition, I came to the realization that my drill sergeant parenting just wasn't working. No number of time outs, swats on the behind, toys taken away, etc. was getting through. Toys were still being thrown, hitting still occurring, and I was OVER IT. If any of us was permissive, it would be one thing. On the contrary, I think we are pretty strict. I EXPECT my kids to be respectful and behave. But my tactics were not working. So I decided to buy a book that was recommended to me a while back by our church counselor. I had heard about it again after that. You know how that goes. you hear a word, or about a book for the first time and like the scales have fallen off, you suddenly see it and hear about it everywhere.

The book is called 1-2-3 Magic Parenting. I can't explain the book in a quick blurb because there are specific techniques that you use. All I can say is that while I was skeptical, I was willing to try anything. My ideas certainly weren't working. For us, this book's plan is working. AND--I am a lot less frustrated. It allows me to see Kyan in a different way, I think because I am more calm. This book helped me disengage from the emotional battle of the wills, and simply participate in discipline and then we all move on. I LOVE IT! Brandon is on board, because he is wonderful :)

It has been good for us. I was shocked, but I feel that this has been WONDERFUL for us. It helps children experience natural consequences, and it gives parents a game plan so you aren't on your heels trying to decide on discipline in the moment. Does this warrant a timeout? Should I take a way toy? Do I give a warning? That goes away.

So far, so good. If you are looking for a solution to tantrums and discipline issues, give 1-2-3 Magic a shot.

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