Thursday, January 29, 2009

GRRRRR.....Anyone looking for a job?

I am going to try my hand at blogging more often. Every day seems like a lofty goal, but we'll see. For those of you who just swing bty to check out pictures of the kids, we will probably post those every 1-2 weeks. We just dont take that many pictures.

I am supposed to be showering and getting ready to go to the dentist to have a crown put back on. Wonder why I am stalling. :) Today has not been fun, and I would like to offer my job as mom, school bus driver, diaper changer, washer woman, GFCF chef, backpack packer, nose wiper, tantrum handler, house picker-upper, bath giver, nap-enforcer, schedule arranger, child discipliner, 3 year-old referee, (you get the picture) to the highest bidder. Actually no, better yet, I give it up for free. I quit. See you later! Cyanara! Good bye.

Today I quit! Parenting is hard. Parenting 3 3 year olds is hard. Parenting 3 3 year olds, 2 of whom have autism is way harder than it should be. I love my babies, but this is not what I wanted today. Not that I dont want the children, of course I do. But seriously, they may drive me over the edge. Thank God for that dentist's appointment. Who ever says that? And the sad thing is I mean it. I need a breather from them, and what is worse...they have only been home from school since 11:30am today. It is 2pm! How do they make me that crazy that fast, you ask?

Well, you see, Kyan has a hitting problem. He hits me, his dad, his brother and sister, the dog, friends at school...all of us. I NEVER thought I would ever had a child who hits. My mother would have killed us on the spot if we hit her. I have tried every possible tactic to stop the hitting. I have used time outs, taken toys, used a crying chair-for calming down, put him in a pack n play for time out, taken favorite items, tried soothing, tried redirecting, and yes, I have spanked him-though the logic is lost on me to spank while saying don't hit, I wanted to get the message across and was desperate. I have used each of these methods consistently for periods of time and have gotten zero success. I am so done with it. I am tired of not liking my child very much. And it is hard to like someone who kicks and hits you and everyone else any time life doesn't go his way. Since 11:30am...he hit a child at school as we were leaving b/c the child was playing with a toy and Kyan decided he wanted it. He kicked and hit me while I put him in his car seat for an unknown reason--he had a snack in one hand and his fave Elmo in the other.

He later lost his mind kicking and screaming because we came in from outside. He kicked and hit me while I changed his poopy diaper. He started to hit Hershey for who knows what reason, and I stopped that. He then hit braylen b/c B was eating HIS OWN fruit snack. So I go find another one just like it and give it to him--after having him say "fruit please". And what did he do? Scarf it down? Nope. Didn't eat a single bite. Just set it in the floor. He screamed because we went upstairs. He then hit and kicked me once more for changing his poopy diaper and removing a fitted sheet from over his head--sorry kid. Don't want you to suffocate. And finally they are all in bed.

The worst part of this? He isn't just a bratty kid. A lot of his problem is a low frustration tolerance and that goes along with autism. Sound like an excuse? I thought so too, but truly from everything I read this is legit. The nutshell version is that kids like Kyan can't predict the consequences of his actions. So even though we consistently discipline him for hitting, the next time he goes to hit, there is no registering that he will get in trouble. His brain doesn't make the connection. And I believe it because he gets in trouble and still looks shocked that we are upset with him. Seriously, how do you fight that?

I have been to Parenting Autistic Kids classes, and will attend more. His teachers and therapists have been working on this problem for 8 months. His teacher is coming to our house next week to try to work on it too. We are all very consistent and do not allow that behavior or ever let him get away with it, and yet, zero results.

On top of that (prepare for pity party) Brandon was out of town last night, so I was on my own getting kids to bed and then up and to school. I am sick too just for extra fun.

So....I ask again, who is looking for a job?

1 comment:

Emily Doss said...

sometimes I think- that we have no idea what we are signing up for with this whole parenting thing. Not only are we signing up, we are about to pay someone a lot of $$$ to get to be parents through adoption. ha! I'm thinking I will look back on all this time without children as a treasure. :) And I'm trying to treasure it even now.