Friday, November 07, 2008

Sweet November

Well, I mentioned before that November would be a hard one for us. I was right. It has been hard, and we are only 1 week in. Yesterday was Day 1 of testing for Special Ed preschool. I want to thank everyone who prayed for us because I genuinely felt it. I truly had peace that surpassed my understanding....honest and truly I felt peace in my soul inspite of my circumstances. For those of you who prayed for us, thank you. I needed it and appreciate it.

So, on with the story. We went in without incident. Patty was with us, which was a huge help. A little back ground on Patty--she is good friends with Barbara who used to be our nanny. She sort of adopted my kids and we are forever grateful. Patty is a saint. The kids adore her and so do we. She is also a retired special ed teacher, so having her with us for this all-important testing was even better. I can not tell you how many forms I have filled out during this process. My goodness our state is thorough. Taxpayers money at work I suppose, but OH MY the trees we are killing!

Getting back on track...we go in and testing begins and within 10 minutes, the psycologist comes in with a stern look on her face and says "I will need to talk with you about Kyan". I said "Ok. Is this about Autism?" She said "Yes." in a way that sounded more like a "hell yes" wearing a nice business suit. At any rate, the long and the short of it is, that based on premilinary results (scores have not been tallied) Kyan will qualify for maximum benefits which will equal 4 days (3 & 1/2 hours per day) at special ed school because he is firmly planted on that Autism Spectrum. I knew this in my gut, but I did want to be proven wrong. Kynsie too will likely qualify for 4 days of special ed preschool due to being on the spectrum though she should test/grade quite a bit better than Kyan. Our goal is to do 2 days mainstream & 2 days special ed school for her. Braylen likely will not qualify for any services at all. He is delayed in some areas but not in a way that is considered a disability. So-none of this was a surprise, but it was still a hard day. We were there from 10:30am-2pm. Then we attempted to put the kids down for a short nap.

We had re-scheduled family pics for their 3 years and our christmas cards. I say rescheduled because we tried to get our family pictures made at the park last week, and it was a complete disaster. Kyan screamed for 45 minutes solid. I was so embarassed. He could not regroup. People were staring at us. I carried him off by himself and was trying to calm him down but to no avail. This woman who was walking her dog at the park must have thought I was being mean to him. She was circling us like a shark looking for dinner. She meant well, but it intensified my anxiety. People were everywhere at the park. We were a trainwreck and they couldn't keep from watching. Having a child who melts down in public like that feels like someone has taken all of your failures as a parent and projected them onto a HUGE screen for the world to see. Somehow, one screaming child manages to suck all of the air out of a room or atmosphere, in this case. I am sure (or at least hopeful) that if I were an observer, I would feel compassion rather than judgement, but one never knows. So needless to say, we left without any pictures and vowed to try again. I cried the entire way home, AFTER I called to cancel the dinner plans we had made with friends. By that time K & K were both screaming it out in the backseat and I knew they were in no shape to go to someone's house for dinner.

So-back to yesterday. We finished all of the testing. Get the kids home and bathed and in bed for nap. B took a small nap. K & K sang their ABC's and giggledand talked for an hour. So we meet the photgrapher at a different park that promised to be less crowded and less tempting-no lake or playground to play on. I gave Kyan some Calm's Forte which I highly recommend for overly anxious children, and gave myself a clonipin which I highly recommend for overly stressed parents. :) We were there less than 10 minutes before Kyan began the meltdown. We tried everything to calm him down, but there was no use. He totally disrupted another family's photo session with his screaming. We finally discovered that he wanted to get in the creek...not happening, but he could not get over that obsession--typical with kids on the spectrum.

So-we persisted at trying to get a pic of the kiddos together. At one point, we tried to put all 3 on a bench and Kyan kept getting off screaming. So I swooped in to scoop him up, put him on the bench and run out of the shot. But when I grabbed under his arms he went limp and fell straight back smacking his head on the concrete with a loud thud. I was mortified. I thought "Great. Now I have given him a concussion on top of it all". Sadly, he finally got quiet after that. We did get some pictures of him and you can barely tell he was crying at all. But that freaked me out, thinking something was really wrong. He does have a small bump but nothing major. Then after about 5 minutes of tranquility, he was back in rare form screaming and tamtruming, so I realized that the bump in the head was not too serious.

A few prayer requests, and then I will leave you with a couple of pictures.

1. Monday is Kynsie's test. Please pray that all goes well with the sedation, and that it does not ahrm her or cause an Autism-regression, which is common. Please also pray that she does not need surgery.

2. We go in for final testing for K & K on Tuesday for special ed school. Just pray that they test accurately.

3. Please pray for us. Things should be getting easier at this age, but for us it seems that each new milestone brings on new and sometimes more diffifult challenges. Barbara, who once filled in for us when a child was sick or when we needed help for a doctor's appointment or therapy, or just a breather from the insanity, is now in Michigan and won't be back helping us any time soon. When she left in April, we all thought it was a temporary thing, and honestly felt that if we could get by until now, then she would be able to help us again. Now that we are seeing that she won't be with us, we are scrambling. We have Yolanda who babysits on Fridays so we can both work, and she is wonderful, but she has a young child of her own and helps with another set of triplets, so her schedule is not very flexible. Plus we have to pay her, and we are already drowning in that department. My parents can't move here right now. The market stinks, and it just isn't an option. Most of our friends have kids and lives of their own, and it is too much to ask someone to care for 3 children at once or even just Kyan because he can be so difficult to deal with sometimes. I do take them to my store with me, but Kyan can't make it for a full work day at my store without driving us both nuts. Plus- have you ever tried taking your kids to work? Trying to deal with clients while you make sure that the kids aren't killing each other or tearing the place apart? Good times.

So we are kind of stuck. Patty helps as much as she can, but she lives 45 minutes away, so it is hard for her to be here on short notice. This new preschool schedule is going to be hard to juggle now that I am running a business. Not to mention that Brandon's job requires travel. Please pray that somehow we figure it out. It is scary and stressful. I believe that it will work out, but it doesn't stop me from panicking from time to time. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!

Now for those pictures--we only have a couple now but will be getting the CD soon.

Kynsie-one of my faves of the day!

Can you belive this cutie had been screaming that long? This was taken post-head injury

Cutie Braylen. Think I would like this better in color.

Family pic. Poor Kyan had just stopped crying. :(



Jackson and Kendall said...

Sunny...these pictures are great!! You have a beautiful family. I can't beleive how much Kynsie looks like you!!

mandychitchat said...

Totally agree with Jen - what sweet pics. We had some family ones taken last week - I hope they are half as good!!

Liz said...

Beautiful pictures.... I just found your blog through the Triplet Connection. I have BGB triplets that are 19 months old. Both of my boys are most likely on the spectrum and quite possibly my daughter too.