Saturday, March 18, 2006

Mama said there'd be days like this....

this is a post from a few days ago. I almost didnt post it, but i thought maybe someone would benefit somehow from it. PLus--i want to be sure that we create a realistic picture of parenting triplets. It's great and fun, but it's definitely not a halmark commercial everyday. anyway...here's my post from the 18th.


I want to preface this by saying that I love being a mommy...but today was one of those days when I wish I had a 'pause' button. ok, a mute button wouldnt be bad either, but I'd settle for a 'pause'. It is amazing how quickly a perfectly good day can go right down the tubes, and I find myself wondering, "what just happened?". Only I cant even answer myself before one of my little darlings decides that they need me right this minute. *sigh*

I received a disturbing letter in the mail today, from the Knoxville utilities board. It seems that they actually expect me to PAY for my utilities! Can you believe that???? I apparently forgot to pay them last month. So that bill nearly took my breath away. We keep our hosue as toasty as an old folks home, so we practically pay KUB a housepayment every month. Fortunately we have never been late before, and yes, we still have utilities, but I can not believe I didnt pay them. I used to be SO good about that stuff. It literally made me sick to my stomach. I have never had any credit issues, and I dont want to start now.

I guess it does make sense though, I mean I am a little busy. I feel like paying medical bills is a full time job. What a headache! And then I have to do my best to be sure that three babies get fed, take good naps, have play time, tummy time and bath time every day. And then dont forget that I am trying to be sure that they get enough mental & physical stimulation, but not too much, as they are still a bit fragile and they dont need to be overstimulated. (good grief!)Then add household chores..until yesterday I am certain that the cure for cancer was growing on my shower curtain, I finally got that taken care of. ICK!! And did I mention that I am also supposed to be a loving wife, a thoughtful friend, and a good daughter, sister and aunt? Oh yes, and add a crazy dog, and reflux to the mix, just for fun.

Welcome to my world. Im sure I sound like a whiny butt, and certainly there is some crazy soul out there who is patting herself on the back thinking "Heh. I could handle that a lot better" and God bless you if you could, but what I feel the urgent need to say is "I am doing the best that I can". In fact, i'd really like a t-shirt that says "Cut me some slack. I am doing the best I can." MAybe everyone would like a t-shirt like that.

It's just been one of those days when I am kicking like crazy trying to keep my head above water, and nothing I do even gets me near the surface. how am I supposed to keep up with these babies, keep them healthy, happy, and safe, while trying depserately not to do anything that they will be rehashing with a therapist 20 years from now?

*whew* I feel better now. I think I just needed to get off my chest. I gotta go. 2 babies need my attention urg-ent l......

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww Sunny I admire you soooo much. I can't keep the house clean, husband happy, stay in touch with friends, and stay afloat at my job and I don't have any kids. :) I can't imagine what you have going on. I just told Melanie Simpson last night that you were the best person to have triplets and that I don't think I could handle it. :) Thanks for making time to blog.
-Emily Doss

Dr. J said...

There are these shower curtains at bed bath and beyond that you can put in the washer. They are so cool. You just throw them in with some bleach and no more ichyness.

Addie said...

awww... sunny, I dont think there is a mother of one that would blame you for how you feel - actually I think weve all been amazed that we havent seen a hint of whining before now.... its normal to feel overwhelmed, heck, I feel that way with one, so I couldnt imagine 3... I think you are amazing at what you do, even though Ive never even met you... dont doubt yourself or your abilities, or your children.... as long as you love them with all that youve got (and it sounds like you do), then they wont need therapy in 20 years - they will probably be the ones listening to everyone else's problems and smiling about how good they had it way back when.... :)

Mindy said...

we all need one of those t-shirts! and one of those shower curtains :) EVERY new mom has days when she would like to hand her kid over to the nearest stranger and run the other way. it's completely normal. if you were able to handle all this and not feel overwhelmed i would want to know what drug you are on. i've been reading lots of 'mom blog's' and have come to realize that other moms go through doubting themselves as mothers and we need more new moms willing to talk about the nitty-gritty, like the fact that it is a miracle to actually take a shower, cook a meal, and wash laundry all in the same day...it just doesn't happen when you have a baby, especially when you have three. so, all i'm saying is, you're doing good. and don't feel bad for whining sometimes...if the person you're telling doesn't understand then they've obviously never had an infant.

OKeedokey said...

I loved the honesty Sunny. With Gibson, my house stayed pretty clean and I paid my bills on time. I thought to myself, "This isn't half bad." Then came Haven!! Laundry piles high, floors and counters are sticky, and bathrooms.....yuck. Also, Sadly, I've grown accustomed to opening a bill and saying to Andrew , "Oops, I guess I missed this one last month."
There are days when I pat myself on the back and say, "Good job Haley." Then,,,,, there are those other days. On those days I say, "Tommorrow I'll do better." You are doing a great job. (Even if there is a lack of play time or too much stimulation) I do think you are on to something with the pause and mute button!!!

Sunny said...

HEY...thanks for the supportive responses. :) Here's another copnfession-- I have one of those shower curtains, and it is great. But with 3 babies we do laundry almost around the clock...bibs, burp cloths, clothes, pj's and then our stuff. So every time I thought to clean the shower curtain, there was always another load in the washer. But, I finally got it in with oxclean and bleach and all is well...with the shower at least...better run. baby screaming!!!

RilDakMad's Mommy said...

Sunny... I have had several of those days... whats that song????? "Mama said there'd be days like this"!!! My trio is three they aren't as often but they are still there. You seem to be doing WONDERFUL