Our church service today was about....ANXIETY. Seriously. Here's the funny (not in the har-de-har sense, but in the odd/ironic sense) part. We almost didn't go to church for the following reasons:
1. I was worried that Kyan would misbehave and cause problems for the nursery workers.
2. Kynsie coughed once this morning--yes once--and I worried "is she getting sick?"
3. Swine Flu and other ickies are rampant in our community right now. My kids are immuno-compromised. Should we expose them to even more germs?
So yes, my anxiety almost kept me from hearing a sermon on anxiety. Irony at its best. Still, I really felt compelled to go today, and we did. Obviously the sermon was good, timely, necessary. I guess the question at hand is, will it make a difference in me? The answer of the moment is I hope so. I don't have any new information or any epiphany of sorts. But I did decide that maybe I should search for a Bible study for overstressed moms, or moms of special needs kids. I think finding people who are in a similar boat as me might really help. I KNOW a Bible study would help. I am also giving serious consideration to talking to a counselor at our church. Maybe if I could find a way to unload some of this stress to someone who is trained to help me sort through it, maybe it would offer some relief. I also plan to blog a little more. I find writing to be a huge release for me--like journaling. Plus, you guys give me good feedback and I appreciate that. I also added one of the kids supplements to my daily intake--GABA. It seems to be helping as well. I am considering dropping caffeine which makes miserable just to contemplate, but it may be necessary. ALSO--this is a big one--I am reducing my intake of News and T.V. I get that many parts of the world is in crisis and a head-in-the-sand approach is not the best to have. HOWEVER, I am drowning in my own family's issues at the moment and I simply don't have the wherewithal to fret about Uganda and Swine Flu and Iran. That stuff ratchets my anxiety very quickly. People can be too informed and in a media-hyped age where breaking news arrives by text to your phone, I think pulling the plug can be beneficial. I also plan to avoid many TV shows. I am consumed with worry over my kids, do I really need to watch children in crisis on Grey's or Private Practice or SVU? Ummm....NO! My imagination is too active. I don't need any help in that department. I am also being selective about blogs I read. I LOVE following blogs but there are some that are so heart wrenching that I simply need a break from them. I can pray for those sweet babies and their families, but for the sake of my babies I can not become consumed by them for the moment. All of this may sound selfish, and maybe it is. I don't think so though. I am trying to fortify myself and regroup so that as a mom I can hopefully help my children. Once I am in better shape mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I think I will have more available time, energy...everything for other people.
On the kid front, we have an appointment with a chiropractor in 2 weeks. A customer of mine recommended him after reading our blog. She mentioned that he is very holistic and takes a natural approach to overall health. Sounds like my kind of guy. Ironically, I went to high school and was friends with his son. So, that helps with the trust factor as well.
Brandon and I are in the process of scheduling a meeting with Kyan's teacher and Occupational therapist to try to get some advice and help for dealing with Kyan's behavior issues. We want to help him through this and frankly we are out of ideas and simply not equipped to deal with his issues effectively.
I am also supposed to speak with Dr. Bernui, hopefully tomorrow to try to get his opinion and a game plan for Kyan. Hopefully, the experts can help.
Removing Enhansa from Kyan's supplement lineup for the moment. Initially this supplement did so much for Kyan's cognition and language, but as we have increased the dosage, his systemic YEAST issues have also increased. For some kids, Enhansa increases yeast. It appears that for the moment, Kyan's yeast is so out of hand, that we just can't risk adding to that burden. (Anti-biotics did not help this yeast issue either. ) So, we are removing Enhansa.
In addition, I am continuing to do research on HBOT, I have looked at this possible therapy for several months now. I have talked with Dr. Bernui and a mom whose 15 year-old Autistic daughter made MAJOR improvements from HBOT. I have read a great deal of information and I really believe this is a good option for all 3 of our kids, especially Kyan. As I mentioned in a previous post, cost is certainly an issue. $10,000 is not pocket change. During my research I realized that it would indeed make more sense to purchase a used HBOT chamber that we could keep and continue to use than to pay for treatment on a per session basis. So, I am on a mission to make this happen. I am presently praying that God will help us find a way to get the HBOT chamber. You may notice some additions to our blog in coming days. Please know that we are not 'selling out' or exploiting our children. I am simply trying to fund this very expensive treatment. I don't know what path we will take to raise the money, but I believe there is a way somehow.
So there you have today's update. After today's sermon, my suspicion is that I am actually not alone in this anxiety of mine and God impressed upon the heart of our ministers that many of us needed that message. Thank you, Lord. I needed that.