Tuesday, August 16, 2005

have you ever been...

in a situation that you had to be in but didn't really want to be there? let me explain...first, in a marriage, there are times when guys have to go shopping...this experience becomes more of an occurance when your wife gets pregnant!!

last night, i went to wal-mart...WITH A LIST (keep that in mind as i tell my story) Sunny had given me a list of things that she needed. most of the items were, um..."feminine" in nature. So, i go into wal-mart and grab a handbasket (not really thinking of how humiliating this trip could be) and walk to the pharmacy to check on her prenatal vitamin prescription that had been called in. then i walk back and find "the wall" of feminine products and begin to shop. I have my list in hand and find the Always section. Now this is where i have to revert back to my list and make sure that i get the right ones. I notice that the box of 40 liners is a mere $3.99 and the large box of 80 is $4.25...SO why not get the big box...so i slip it into the basket. i move on down to get the feminine cleanser and then to the mascara (which they were out of but i looked down every frickin aisle to find the stuff) and finally to the Cocoa Butter lotion.

ok, here is where i interject with a sidebar about why in the world women have so many different "products" for each individual body part. There is shampoo, conditioner (leave in and wash out) for the hair...all kinds of face stuff (i won't even begin to go into this...you all know how much you have and if you have to have a separate bag to transport it...it is to much), the body wash, scrub, lotion, stuff that makes you smell pretty and feminine wash and soap. All that to just wash...um, last time i checked a bar of Lever 2000 cleaned everything that all that other stuff does and it's ONE BAR!!! i mean, you give a guy a bar of dial and a stick of Old Spice and we are set. now, if you are a "metro" then you have other products...WHICH i have to say i have used at one point or the other, but do not make a ritual out of using.

back to my story...so i'm in wal-mart with a hand-basket and the only thing in it is a LARGE box of panti-liners and i am standing in the mascara aisle looking for "Wet and Wild Curling Mascara--jet black" (WHAT THE HECK??? you say...i said the same thing...but there are 3 whole aisles of this stuff...i looked down every one) and i have placed my list in my pocket...Guys, DO NOT PUT YOUR LIST UP! this couple looked at me like I was the biggest fruitcake in the world...so immediately i pulled my list from my pocket so that i could save any amount of dignity that i had left. *WHEW*

SO...for all you guys who go shopping for "those" products...keep your list handy....that will help you out a great deal. now i have to say that i did not write this to make the women in my life upset or angry, but i had to vent about the TON of things that you think that you need, but don't. but we, as guys, love you as women and gladly will buy any product that you need so that you smell pretty.

Sunny, wanted me to say that she didn't go because she doesn't need to be on her feet for very long. i also want to say that i do not mind going shopping or anything like that...it was a very peculiar situation last night that i wanted to share with you because sunny laughed her head off when i came home with the econmy size box off liners and a large bottle of lotion and other things and asked "did you not want to go back?" so i explained my embarassing display in the mascara aisle.

needless to say, i am not a freak and i love my wife and am one of the most heterosexual men you will ever meet.

thank you to all and good day...

5 comments:

Addie said...

ha ha ha... Im sorry brandon, but that was completely hilarious and I think every guy has had to go through something like that, but what a good sport you are...

Maggie said...

I laughed out loud at that one. I should get my husband to read that. Right after I got home from the hospital from having Lauren, I had to send him to get many embarrasing items for me. He was a trooper too, but I'm sure it was just as embarrasing. hehe.

Greg & Katie said...

Amen brother...you said it!!! Umm...not to scare you but it isn't over. Wait until she is recovering from the delivery and she needs you to go again. Ask me how I know! I too was in the same situation and I too probably looked like a fruitcake. What was really bad was that the checkout isle I poorly chose was one in which a sweet little 16 year old was working. I looked up and I think I actually caught her snickering! I was out of there sooo fast! Sounds like you handled it well though. See you soon!
Greg

Dr. J said...

so which is your pimary blog. This one or the xanga one. Very good story. I plan on making a "I'm shopping for my Wife" T shirt when I get married. I will sell you one if you want.

Brando said...

i might steal your idea and make one myself to get through this!!!
i'll have to go probably several more times...this is "our" blog i guess and xanga is another way for me to post on...don't know which one is primary...usually i'll post on both.